Upgrade Crypto in the Pox Mart at a saucer landing zone
Rifle through your Furonigami collection
Outrun Blisk Spores with S.K.A.T.E.
Invade Bay City
Invade Albion
Invade Takoshima
Invade Tunguska
Invade Solaris
Destroy a tool in Bay City
Destroy a dastardly double agent in Albion
Destroy a majestic presence in Albion
Upgrade your saucer in the Pox Mart at a saucer landing zone
Destroy a familiar-looking monster in Takoshima
Destroy a washed-up scammer in Takoshima
Destroy an old foe in Tunguskan ship-to-ship battle
Destroy a crusty old cryptid in Tunguska
Destroy the crab behind the curtain
Demolish a public toilet on each map
Complete your first steps on the Path of the Sacred Crotch
Summon Arkvoodle and take hold of his vibrating super-weapon
Phone home
Throw a cop through a donut with PK
Use a Furotech Reactor to purchase a capstone upgrade in the Pox Mart
Drop a human from the top of Albion Bridge by cancelling PK
Ascend Takoshima Tower
Kill a reincarnated guru with his own body
Find the hidden basketball on the moon and score a hoop with PK Slam
S.K.A.T.E. up the road to Coit Tower without interruption
S.K.A.T.E. from Parliament to the Russian embassy without interruption
S.K.A.T.E. from the temple gates through the park to Takoshima City without interruption
S.K.A.T.E. from the landing zone near Tarkovskoye along the tracks to the East without interruption
S.K.A.T.E. from the Blisk dome to the base's entrance without interruption
Complete all odd jobs
Re-visit a mission in the Holopoxdeck at a saucer landing zone
Collect all Alien Artifacts
Collect all posters
Collect all songs
Unlock all Gene Blender upgrades
Complete all optional mission objectives (use the Holopoxdeck if you have to)
Accelerate Brain Extract, Body Snatch, Transmog or Drain by mashing that button like you mean it
Use your saucer's weapons to scare human cattle out of their hidden hives on each map
Score three perfectly-timed Anal Probes in a row
Line up three humans with the Dislocator and send them sprawling
Try out a new look for Crypto in the Cloning Chamber