You own all the weapons and costumes available in the game.
You've collected all of the available costumes.
Everyone in South Park is your friend.
You collected all of the Chinpokomon.
You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.
You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.
You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.
While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.
You befriended both crab people and gnomes.
You farted on four major authority figures.
You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.
You've farted on a dog while in gnome form.
You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.
You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.
Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.
You made friends with half of South Park.
You collected 15 Chinpokomon.
In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.
You opened all of the garages in South Park.
You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.
You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.
You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.
You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.
You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.
You've spent $500.
You have collected half of the available costume sets.
You sold 300 junk items.
You befriended your father.
You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.
You completed the game without selling any items.
You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.
You've farted on people 100 times.
Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.
You've farted on animals 25 times.
You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.
You've farted on every buddy in the game.
You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.
You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.
You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.
You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.
You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.
You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.
You completed your first day in South Park.
Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.
You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.
You collected 5 Chinpokomon.
You have joined the KKK.
You shat your pants during a boss battle.
You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.
You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.
