mormalin

I am One in a Million, and There Are Six Thousand People in the World Exactly Like Me

Awarded for racking up over 999,999.999 points total.

I Have Jumped Beyond the Powers of Two, and Have Lived to Tell the Tale

Awarded for completing your 128th jump.

I Avoid Sleep Wherever Possible, So I Played AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! a Whole Lot

Awarded for completing 4,096 jumps.

I Have Broken More Glass Than a Finely Corpulent Opera Singer, and Love Myself For It

Awarded for breaking 1,000 scoring plates.

I am at Risk of Contracting Mononucleosis, Which is Known Colloquially as the Kissing Disease

This achievement is an award which is awarded for achieving 10,000 kisses total.

The Rhylos and Skaery Memorial Achievement, for Which We Will Honor Them

All fives. All five stars. On all levels. 81 levels. Yeah.

I Have Completed Every Single of the New Levels and Can Honestly Say That I am Awesome

Complete the 43 new levels in Awesome. You know, the lower levels? When you click on the down arrow from the level selection screen. Those levels.

One Fewer Than a Lewd Innuendo Because We Are Totally Past That Phase

Get exactly 68 kisses in one level. Not 67, unless you then get the 68th. 70 is right out.

OooooOOoooOOOooOOOOoOOOOO!!! -- O Ooooooooo Ooooooooo ooo Ooooooo

Geez. So, like, you're parachuting, and your velocity has decreased to the point where you're probably not going to die, right? So, what do you do? Have a sandwich? What if you held the O key down long enough? You could get this achievement. Or, you could

I Have Come to The Point in My Life Where I Appreciate Christmas Mall Music