Darkwolf

Mission Successful

Fly the Xanadu back to Earth

Impulse 101

Obtain every weapon

Sign him up for the Knicks!

Score a basketball goal

Bibliophile

Obtain every page

Audiophile

Obtain every audiolog

Surgeon General's Warning

Ignore the surgeon general, as well as common sense

Old School

Unlock the bonus mini-games

Trumpet-Major

Experience an attack of flatulence

Silver Shower

Destroy a robot with the showers

Unintended Death

Get killed by the environment

Balls of Steel

Beat the game without dying

Smashed

Don't drink responsibly

Speedrunner

A bomb?

Get killed by the suicide droid

Please put your seats in the upright position

Place every toilet seat up

Homer's Odyssey

And and eat every donut

Scanners

Scan the Xanadu with the Survey Bot

Killing Spree

Destroy 3 enemies in 2 seconds or less

Ruined Breakfast

Sabotage your breakfast

The King of the Dead

Become king of the zombies

Murderer

Xanadu Book Club

Find and read "The Unusual Death of Governor Li"

No New Mail

Read every e-mail

Sacrifice

The Other Half