The Holy Gosh Darn

...of Mockery

Insult one Elder

...of Snackery

Have a cookie.

...of Connectivity

Open a network of portals between every realm.

...of Efficiency

Finish the game by rewinding 30 times or less.

...of Celebrity

Listen to yourself on the radio.

...of Generosity

Give Satan a gift.

...of Omnisciency

Freak out Puriel

...of Holiness

Meet every Holy Spirit.

...of Unbelievability

See crazy nonsense everywhere.

...of Artistry

Look at 20 pieces of art adjacent stuff.

...of Theory

Learn everything.

...of Animosity

Insult 10 Elders

...of Vanity

Fill out your wardrobe.

...of Verbosity

Call everyone.

...of Modularity

Install the wardrobe module.

...of Sentimentality

Install the Holy Site Sentimenterer.

Secret Achievement

...of Fully Upgradability

Get all watch upgrades.

...of Sensibility

Watch every divine memory.

...of Mortality

Die in 5 different ways.

...of Philanthropy

Help Mike Cobbles.

Secret Achievement

...of Hostility

Insult All Elders

Secret Achievement

Secret Achievement

...of Salary

Pay for services rendered.

...of Agility

Skydive to all locations without hitting any dogs.

Secret Achievement

...of Heroity

Save heaven.

...of Inquiry

Read every book.

Too Big To Fail

Become a victim of strange, irrational rules that make absolutely no sense.

...of Whackamoleity

Get a perfect score in Whack-an-angel.

...of Audacity

Insult 10 Elders in the same timeline.

...of Brewery

Give Elder 7 every type of coffee possible.

...of Paradoxicality

Give Brokk a nosebleed.

...of Discontinuity

Make Gerardiel shut up.

...of Melody

Listen to every song.